I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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