mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
