how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize