You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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