Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize