She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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