So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
