I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
