she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
