you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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