I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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