is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
