Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
