i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
