OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
