are you still at the devil's house?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
