Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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