i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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