oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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