break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
