I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Randomize
