I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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