remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
