look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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