We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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