his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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