the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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