i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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