NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
