If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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