it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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