even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
