I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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