When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
