i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize