Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
