I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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