We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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