You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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