I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
