I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
