also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
