She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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