u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
