Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
