Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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