it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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