Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
