so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You took a bar mat shot.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
