you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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