this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
