I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
