White coat. Heels.
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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