i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
