I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
