I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
