I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
