some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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