I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
