in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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