Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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