But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
