Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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