check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
