Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
