i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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