there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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