Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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