People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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