I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
