mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
