So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
