i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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