I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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