I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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