If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
