I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize