Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize