Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize