i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize