We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
